A peek inside Jo's head

I can't help but become reflective this time of year. There is so much build up to the holidays and then in a mere few days Christmas simply passes. And now it is 35 degrees outside in Arizona and a cold wind blows across the moonlit desert and I am inside, new slippers on, trying to stay warm; thinking ahead to 2009.

If 2009 is anything like 2008, I have faith good things will happen. Although, I am a bit weary: 2009 has quite the challenge to beat this past year.

I am reflective on friendships. You can't stay in touch with everyone and in the year and a half I have been in Los Angeles I have discovered that it holds true for everyone, even myself, whom I've always prided "stays in touch with everyone." I came home for a week and a half this year, thinking what vast amounts of time that provided me, and no, in a few days I am gone. I didn't get to read all the books I wanted to read (see last post). I didn't see everyone I wanted to see. I had visions of creating another painting or charcoal drawing...nah. Running every day. Yeah, right. But I did see my best girlfriends, and I suppose that counts for something.

I thought about it, last night, as these girlfriends and I sat squished around a booth at one of the divest of dive bars in Scottsdale, a biker bar type of joint where thongs and the occasional bra hung from the ceiling. Anyway, that's where we ended up and I thought about how--although it's incredibly rare that the four of us are ever in the same room any longer--that I have had such unique experiences with these girls since moving. I have gotten to know my Chicago friend and her fiance in whole new ways, as I've come to see them a few different times and we've had the most grossly inappropriate late night conversations. Let's just put it this way...we share everything! (And I wouldn't have it any other way). My friend Lisa and I trekked to Croatia and she's come to Los Angeles three times now. We have so many memories and her loyalty shines through. Tiffany, who I thought was lost, has suddenly re-emerged from the ashes. She'll be road-tripping it back with me to Los Angeles in a few days and I'm reminded again, all over, why she was one of my first friends in Arizona.

My point is this: We are four different people and now our life experiences have taken us in separate directions. But together those experiences and our lives create a beautiful quilt, overlapping patterns and interwoven memories. These, I know, will be lifelong friendships. I am sure.

But what else am I reflecting on? What about 2009? I want this coming year to not be marked as a year of triumph or survival; not as a year of dramatic independence or bouts of faith set forth in a new city. No, this year won't be another 2008...

I want to cook more often and to cook more for others. Many of my greatest Los Angeles memories have been made in my tiny galley kitchen in Brentwood with new and old friends.

I want to make my health a greater priority. I want to join a new pilates studio so that I may go more often. I want to hike more in the green, lush, wild wonders which lie near the ocean. Drink more green tea and watch passersby and be content with just that.

I want to hammer out my LA List. There is still so much to do and time is always uncertain.

I want to keep my heart open but not allow time to waste away on the wrong person.

I want to surround myself and indulge myself in the simple pleasures in life. Plants and clean sheets and a nice glass of wine. Long walks in the afternoon. The New York Times at Peet's Coffee up the street. A luxurious afternoon of smut tivo. Sugar scrubs, museum strolls, the ocean's lullaby.

I want to travel, travel, travel.

I want to go to Omaha to see my relatives. I hardly know them. If I don't go in 2009, I'll never go.

I want to just try to be a good person.

And so, in two days, I'll embark on the six hour drive (well, sometimes 12) to Los Angeles with one of my crazy best friends. As soon as we arrive, I'll show her to the wine and then start to clean the apartment (I wasn't able to do so before I left since I was so sick). We'll go and get cheap manicures. I'll ring up the Brentwood crew. We'll eat some tasty Italian food. We'll....

Who would have thought, two years ago, that I would be ringing in 2009 in Los Angeles? Love it!