24

I have no idea what made me think of doing this but I think it dawned on me last night, when I was thinking back to a certain date or memory, that I couldn’t recall the name of the guy I was with at the time. It bothered me. It dawned on me, then, that there have been many faces, now blurred, throughout my last 13 months of a single woman.

Call me a hussy. Call me a much less raunchy version of Sex in the City (okay, not raunchy at all!). Or just call me Jo (awwww). But there’ve been 24 dudes in my life in the last 13 months. That’s 1.8 guys a month. Not all have been actual dates. Some of been run-ins at the bar, late night seekers of shenanigans. But they’ve all played their part, big and small, in shaping up my last year or so. And I wouldn’t have changed this last year for anything in the world. I needed this year. This was my year. To be me. To be selfish.

So, to the 24 (Note: names may have been changed to protect the obvious and the innocent):

Peter: You tried and you’re intelligent, which I like. But when you made snooty remarks about my Maryland guy friends, you crossed the line. I need them but I don’t need you. Next!

Fish Guy: We were and still are two soldiers sleeping in the mud, my back propped up against yours.

Street: Fantastic on paper but “it” just wasn’t there. I’m glad we’re friends and occasional dinner dates. You’re a good person.

Foodie: Your tomato soup recipe is delicious. Thanks for sending me restaurant recommendations!

Aron: You’re a lot of fun to hang out with and my friend really liked you. But I don’t date cokeheads.

Long Beach: Long Beach is just too far away.

Wedding Guy: Maybe I’ll see you some time again, in Arizona or California. You’re a hoot.

Florida: Thanks for plucking me up off the floor of a bar in Santa Monica when I slipped. You’re quite the southern gent. Sorry I lost you somewhere in the Santa Monica night…

Charlie: You made the most erotic eye contact with me across the room, but when we finally went out you seemed shy and nervous. Do I scare you?

CJ: During our date, I couldn’t tell which one of us yawned more.

Jeff: You’re creepy.

Pilot: I’m happy to see that you’re happy. My curiosity has been satisfied.

Yu Dom Fok: You’re not my type. At all. But you are hilarious and I am looking forward to our dinner on Sunday!

Malibu: I think you might be gay.

Commercial Producer: Ew.

Writer: We’re better off as friends.

Vegas: I haven’t had that much fun singing songs with a random guy in a piano bar in a long time!

Investment Banker: I think you’re far too “LA” for moi. Not sure what it is…the crystals? Meditation? Hippie parents?

Halloween: You proposed to me right then and there in the bar, sliding my plastic spider Halloween ring onto my ring finger. You had no idea how old I was and sincerely thought I was 21. Thanks for that.

George: I am glad you’re back in my life in the way that you should be. I’ve missed you. You asked me once if we’ll know each other forever. Yes, always.

G: You are one of my best friends. If something were to happen, I suspect it already would have happened. I am so happy you are in my life.

Manhattan Beach Lawyer: You’re incredibly disgusting. Hire a maid.

Gym Boy: I like your Midwest roots but you’re socially awkward.

Infatuation: I am having a great time getting to know you. I hope you stick around for a while.