Ruminations after a 15-hour work day

I work all day for...what? To throw my expensive Tiffany's pen into a cheap Staples cup holder and enfold myself within a red peacoat; sit back in my ergonomic chair and close my eyes and breathe. To keep a job rather than be inspired by a career.

Today was not a bad day. It was a fantastic day. But that's just how it is. Sometime in 2009 it will be time for me to make a career shift. And I will. I will.

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This past weekend I made cream of tomato soup sans the cream. I made it for a sick friend. We nibbled gouda grilled cheese and drank pinot noir, whilst planning our trip to the Huntington Library in Pasadena.

It was breathtaking.

I watched a girl of about three run through the wild grounds after her father. He made his arms long and wide like an airplane. A girl was sprawled out in the grass near the lily ponds, enjoying sushi. The waterfall amid the Chinese bamboo flowed endlessly.

"This is a place to be grateful," my friend said.

But I thought, "To find peace." And then I said so.

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It's a cold night in Brentwood and the breeze makes my nose red and runny. I am happy when we find a seat inside the restaurant rather than on the patio.

"Oh, I know what I meant to tell you. I was in the grocery store in Palm Springs and..." his voice trailed off.

"And?" I took a bite of salad.

"And this old lady walked by. And she smelled like you. I thought about texting you but then I thought twice."

I inhaled my field greens. "Good. No girl my age wants to be told she smells like an old lady. Don't say it again."

And later--

"You have boney knees. And ankles."

I mulled. "Well. I suppose that's a compliment. I mean...I'm anything but boney--"

"Oh my GAWD! They're so boney!"

"Thanks...I guess?"

And today--

Text: I had fun last night.

Text Back: Boney, so did I. I thought about it a bunch.

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Starting the 14th I am going on a raw food fast. Just for a week, give or take. More to come.

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Clean sheets are a simple creature's luxury and tonight I am a simple creature. I will lie down and smell my pillow at least five times before quieting my wondering brain. Hmmm. Lavendar.