Day 2

Day 2. There were no tears last night, no tears this morning. I literally cried all day at work yesterday (quite embarrassing), and was crying so much that I had to leave early. But I think I got enough tears out yesterday to last me a while, and I probably exhausted myself. I was shocked when I was able to talk to friends last night about the situation without crying. But it all comes down to one question that everyone asks: WHY?

I am not sure I’ll ever understand that. I know that we fought, but I also know it was not frequent. And everyone says things in a fight that they don’t necessarily understand or mean…but isn’t that what an argument is? Even beyond that—everyone has their bad days, when they are grouchy and say the wrong thing. Does “Chris” not understand that? My mom said something to the effect of, “Jo, if you weren’t opinionated and outspoken, you wouldn’t be YOU!” And that’s probably true. I hope Chris thought long and hard about this. He will have another relationship one day. They will fight. Hurtful things will be said. Will he be able to handle it? Someone pointed out, “If he can’t get through this, how will he ever get through a REAL problem?” I don’t know, I don’t know.

Once again, I am just so grateful that I have my friends and family, near and far, to get me through this. And despite all the tears, I’d like to point out the shards of silver lining that are emerging from this process.
1. I’ve lost a pound. Just one, I know, but it’s a pound and I still have several more days to go. Can anyone say: single and sexy? Hot JoMamma!
2. I learned how to make pizza from scratch last week at a cooking class with my Mom. Now, I can make homemade, delicious pizza. And eat it all by myself. Said pizza may add one pound.
3. I live in Young People Land (Brentwood). Young men abound—whole herds of ‘em! “Chris” lives in what I’ve heard referred to as Old People Playground. (That is true). It’s cougar country over there…he better get ready for hunting season!
4. I was going to get him a lavish birthday present. I had it all planned out. I was going to go above and beyond this year. But now I’m going to opt to buy myself an expensive coat, purse and manicure. Happy Birthday to Me!
5. Now when I go to the movies, I won’t have to argue with anyone about whether to see Transformers or a chick flick.
6. We were going to go up north next month to celebrate our three years. But now can anyone say “Vegas, baby, Vegas!”
7. Now, instead of filling up my car with gas every 2-3 weeks, I can go every 3-4 weeks. He didn’t live far, but considering that I hardly ever drive, it felt like I was crossing the Sahara to see him. An eco-friendly break up, I tell you.
8. I’m going to get my groove on. I’m going to listen to all the stations with the best jams, since “Chris” listened to the “deep stuff.” Before you know it, I’ll have braided my hair and have grown one kick-ass booty, while driving around in my low-ridin’ Acura.

And that’s all for now.

I will get through this. I will get through this.